Lawn - Grass cutting device

Ok so one of the most stereotypically dreaded chores in the world is probably doing the laundry. It never ends. Ever. I think that someday I will post about the never ending doom that is the laundry but today is not that day.

A chore that probably goes right up there with laundry is cutting the grass. It is also a chore that for the most part never ends. Sure those of you in the Northern climates get a reprive during the winter months but it is not as though you ever get to wake up one day and think "wow I finally finished that grass cutting project, I can check that off my list until the next time we refinance and want a different style of grass."

So because taking care of the grass is a never ending project and it is typically a mans job to do on a Saturday or Sunday it is appropriate to want the biggest and baddest lawn cutting device on the block if not in the entire neighborhood. Well friends and colleagues I would like to present to you the most ridiculously awesome lawn mower that I have ever seen. I think that I would have to be issued a second man card just to ride on this thing. All other lawn mowers wet themselves in its presence. No but seriously if you wouldn't get excited just by looking at the picture, read the description and stats. It makes me want acreage just so that I could mow it.

Because few words are sweeter to the lawn-manicuring man than "world's fastest lawn mower," we present you with the Dixie Chopper Xcaliber ($11,400). With a huge 74-inch cutting deck, this beast speeds along at 15 mph, letting you cut down over 9 acres an hour. And even though, at those speeds, you won't be out on the lawn all day, the Xcaliber also features a 12-volt adapter to charge your iPod or cell phone.

Ok so here is my problem. Well really there are several. The first one is that I do not have $11,400. The second is that I live in Phoenix which means that while I have grass, it is a patch that is really just there for token reminder that there is grass in other places in the world. This mower would sit on my yard and basically cut the whole thing in two passes. So what is a Phoenician going to do?

Well turns out the good folks at Uncrate are in a summery mood lately and they threw up another lawn mower recently that more accurately fits my bill in more ways than one. Behold finally a semi-affordable battery operated lawn mower. It can run for about 60 minutes on a charge and is silent. That I think would be so sweet. Also who wants to have to spend a couple of bucks in gas to fill up their stupid lawn mower. Not me! With gas the way that it is right now the extra price that you pay for the tech will actually pay for itself much faster than it would have two or three years ago. So I am officially adding this to my new wishlist.

Remove the hassle of mixing gas from your mowing routine and help out the environment with the Neuton Battery-Powered Mower ($480). Like conventional mowers, the Neuton includes a mulching plug, bagger, and side discharge chute, but unlike conventional mowers, it's powered by a rechargeable 24-volt battery that provides enough juice for 45-60 minutes of mowing per charge. Plus, it's nearly silent - just turn the safety knob, squeeze the handlebar, and mow.

Ok so sure I might lose a little bit of manliness on the lime green coloring of this mower, but seriously, it is small, agile and gets the job done quickly. On a side note if you watch The Office you know that last part was one of the biggest setups of all time. If you don't then you have no idea and that is ok as well.